Monday, February 20, 2006

YAWN - yet another doomsday

It seems there's a little buzz on the internet lately about the earth's wobble, or rather Chandler's Wobble (I wonder if any of the other "Friends" have their own wobble) has supposedly stopped. As with every other unexpected natural event (real or bogus) this has sent many into doomsday predictions and many psychic groupies into a frenzy of "I told you so, its ALL going to happen!".

I mean, I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed that all these wack jobs jump on every little thing that happens in nature and predicts that something disasterous or drastic is going to happen, or that they're always just full of speculative or delusional crap. I was really let down when Jupiter didn't explode when the big comet hit it. An extra sun would have been WAY cool! So now here I am all fired up about this new dramatic change, but sure enough it's all just so much doomsday hype and rumour.

The thing is, according to Wikipedia, and mind you I don't view Wikipedia as the source of all knowledge set in stone (Sesame Street deserves that honour), the report of Earth's wobble stopping is eroneous.

The funny thing is, that best as I can tell from poking around the internet, despite others believing that the earth's wobble or lack there-of and the wandering, sometimes reversing, magnetic field are governed by mysterious or alien forces and could result in grand natural disasters, these things are not only understood but have nothing to do with catastrophic events at all. Just ask Bob or Nova. In fact if anything the earth's wobble stopping could see a great reduction in such things as continental drift, and there-by earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions, which I'm sure would have prompted the people of Pompei to invest more money in that Atlantean world wobble stopping technology stock had they known that. 'Course you can't really trust Atlantean technology anyway. Look what happened to them. Okay, now I'm just confusing myself.

So, despite the thoughts by many that crop circles have been warning us for years of the approach of the mysterious planet X who's growing proximity is affecting the spin of our planet's core, as well as our rotation itself, and our wonderful wobble, it's all just silly speculation. Ours is seemingly not to be the fate of Mars, who's atmosphere was possibly ripped away when it's core cooled and it's magnetic force field dropped (again due to the menace of planet X, of course). No we're left to the even more mysterious fate, slowly being spelled out episode by episode on the television series LOST. Which I am totally convinced is directly linked to the absolutely, totally, mostly but probably not real predictions of the Mayan, Sumerians, Navajo, and Egyptians of civilization coming to an abrupt end every 5,000 years (or Dec 26, 2012, for anyone looking at their Mayan calendar just now).

Actually, now that I think about it, Ghostbusters probably had it right. It's all going to end by us being trampled to death by some sort giant confection monster, which just kinda seems fun some how or at least as likely as any other doomsday prediction. Death by junk food...
heed my words!

Thus is the prophecy of Linton.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ya but does your prophecy really count if it wasn't first channeled through Nancy or Marjorie or some other freaked out old hippie tuned into the inner consciousness of other worldly souls who watch over our planet (or should we just call her by name "GAIA") and summon cones of light to cause volcanoes so that the earth's wobble can be corrected or something.... Man, HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SUPPORT THEMSELVES? Can you really be that fucked up and hold a steady job?

Me? I'd rather binge on marshmallows awaiting the sugar nirvana that inevitably ushers in the presence of the STAY PUFF MARSHMALLOW MAN.

"I couldn't help it... I tried to empty my mind but there he was ... the most harmless icon of my innocent youth..." <-- That's not a direct quotation but I'm sure someone has a copy of the movie to find the actual quote.

Even fluffy white sticky sweet goodness can seek to destroy you and all you care about if you let it become big enough.

Woah. Now that's deep man... (Really should start my own blog...)

9:22 PM, February 20, 2006  
Blogger Linton said...

And so it was that Alex and his crew spent the rest of their days on the Island of Lotus Eaters, uh, I mean, writing blogs.

10:49 AM, February 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it would take a full year at least to detect if there isn't a wobble, and I've only read about it on wikipedia... not any other science related website... that makes me really wonder.

I just checked wikipedia again... someone updated it:
"During the first hour of the national radio broadcast of Coast to Coast AM on January 28, 2006, Lloyd Stewart Carpenter incorrectly reported that the Chandler wobble had stopped "
then
"This is however completely unfounded speculation as the actual recorded data shows no indication that the wobble has stopped, or shows any signs of stopping. "

9:35 AM, February 24, 2006  

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