YAWN - yet another doomsday
It seems there's a little buzz on the internet lately about the earth's wobble, or rather Chandler's Wobble (I wonder if any of the other "Friends" have their own wobble) has supposedly stopped. As with every other unexpected natural event (real or bogus) this has sent many into doomsday predictions and many psychic groupies into a frenzy of "I told you so, its ALL going to happen!".
I mean, I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed that all these wack jobs jump on every little thing that happens in nature and predicts that something disasterous or drastic is going to happen, or that they're always just full of speculative or delusional crap. I was really let down when Jupiter didn't explode when the big comet hit it. An extra sun would have been WAY cool! So now here I am all fired up about this new dramatic change, but sure enough it's all just so much doomsday hype and rumour.
The thing is, according to Wikipedia, and mind you I don't view Wikipedia as the source of all knowledge set in stone (Sesame Street deserves that honour), the report of Earth's wobble stopping is eroneous.
The funny thing is, that best as I can tell from poking around the internet, despite others believing that the earth's wobble or lack there-of and the wandering, sometimes reversing, magnetic field are governed by mysterious or alien forces and could result in grand natural disasters, these things are not only understood but have nothing to do with catastrophic events at all. Just ask Bob or Nova. In fact if anything the earth's wobble stopping could see a great reduction in such things as continental drift, and there-by earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions, which I'm sure would have prompted the people of Pompei to invest more money in that Atlantean world wobble stopping technology stock had they known that. 'Course you can't really trust Atlantean technology anyway. Look what happened to them. Okay, now I'm just confusing myself.
So, despite the thoughts by many that crop circles have been warning us for years of the approach of the mysterious planet X who's growing proximity is affecting the spin of our planet's core, as well as our rotation itself, and our wonderful wobble, it's all just silly speculation. Ours is seemingly not to be the fate of Mars, who's atmosphere was possibly ripped away when it's core cooled and it's magnetic force field dropped (again due to the menace of planet X, of course). No we're left to the even more mysterious fate, slowly being spelled out episode by episode on the television series LOST. Which I am totally convinced is directly linked to the absolutely, totally, mostly but probably not real predictions of the Mayan, Sumerians, Navajo, and Egyptians of civilization coming to an abrupt end every 5,000 years (or Dec 26, 2012, for anyone looking at their Mayan calendar just now).
Actually, now that I think about it, Ghostbusters probably had it right. It's all going to end by us being trampled to death by some sort giant confection monster, which just kinda seems fun some how or at least as likely as any other doomsday prediction. Death by junk food...
heed my words!
Thus is the prophecy of Linton.
I mean, I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed that all these wack jobs jump on every little thing that happens in nature and predicts that something disasterous or drastic is going to happen, or that they're always just full of speculative or delusional crap. I was really let down when Jupiter didn't explode when the big comet hit it. An extra sun would have been WAY cool! So now here I am all fired up about this new dramatic change, but sure enough it's all just so much doomsday hype and rumour.
The thing is, according to Wikipedia, and mind you I don't view Wikipedia as the source of all knowledge set in stone (Sesame Street deserves that honour), the report of Earth's wobble stopping is eroneous.
The funny thing is, that best as I can tell from poking around the internet, despite others believing that the earth's wobble or lack there-of and the wandering, sometimes reversing, magnetic field are governed by mysterious or alien forces and could result in grand natural disasters, these things are not only understood but have nothing to do with catastrophic events at all. Just ask Bob or Nova. In fact if anything the earth's wobble stopping could see a great reduction in such things as continental drift, and there-by earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions, which I'm sure would have prompted the people of Pompei to invest more money in that Atlantean world wobble stopping technology stock had they known that. 'Course you can't really trust Atlantean technology anyway. Look what happened to them. Okay, now I'm just confusing myself.
So, despite the thoughts by many that crop circles have been warning us for years of the approach of the mysterious planet X who's growing proximity is affecting the spin of our planet's core, as well as our rotation itself, and our wonderful wobble, it's all just silly speculation. Ours is seemingly not to be the fate of Mars, who's atmosphere was possibly ripped away when it's core cooled and it's magnetic force field dropped (again due to the menace of planet X, of course). No we're left to the even more mysterious fate, slowly being spelled out episode by episode on the television series LOST. Which I am totally convinced is directly linked to the absolutely, totally, mostly but probably not real predictions of the Mayan, Sumerians, Navajo, and Egyptians of civilization coming to an abrupt end every 5,000 years (or Dec 26, 2012, for anyone looking at their Mayan calendar just now).
Actually, now that I think about it, Ghostbusters probably had it right. It's all going to end by us being trampled to death by some sort giant confection monster, which just kinda seems fun some how or at least as likely as any other doomsday prediction. Death by junk food...
heed my words!
Thus is the prophecy of Linton.
posted by Linton at 5:48 PM
3 comments
